A Recipe for Gluttony: One delicious gin-soaked weekend

Oysters and South Side Cocktails have been a Cooper family tradition on "Opening Day on the Bay" for 30+ years. But, who can wait another nine months for that to roll around again? Especially considering this could be our last meal on earth.  It's just TOO GOOD.  Also, the amazing weather and lush condition of the backyard landscaping mandate a gathering.  So here's the (eh' hem...) Skinny!

Ingredients:

100 raw oysters

3 pounds butter

50 cloves garlic, peeled and minced

4 long sourdough baguettes, sliced into 1/2" thick medallions

1 day absence of a conscience

Step One:

Take advantage of your local resources in the gathering of high-quality raw materials.

Select 100 of the finest specimens.

Step Two:

Sample some of the product before you even make it back to the car with your purchase.  Here are a dozen raw and a dozen bbq.  

Crack a cold one....

...and enjoy the view!

Step Three:

Bring your booty home and scrub the treasures well.  It's important to let the tense oyster relax.  Not with a massage, but with rest.  At least for an hour.  The meat will taste better that way.  Tuck them into a bed of clean ice for a little nap.  Bedtime story optional.   

Meanwhile, melt your butter and garlic in a large saucepan over a very low heat.  Grill oysters over medium heat until good and hot and the shells can be easily opened. Scoop oyster meat and juice into the butter.

Spoon oysters, one at a time, onto the baguette medallions and let the salty butter and oyster juice run down your chin, as you moan with pleasure. OH! Sorry, I got a little pornographic there.  Family site!  But, really, YUMMMY!

That takes care of the food, but now you need a beverage.  A traditional South Side Cocktail is as follows:

1 1/2 ounce dry gin

1/2 ounce lemon juice

2 sprigs fresh mint

1 teaspoon powdered sugar

Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass with ice and mint sprigs. Hmm, how civilized. **she takes a sip, whilst gingerly extending one pinky finger.**

But, this is GLUTTONY, after all.  So here's how we revise this recipe...

Combine three gallons of gin, 7 cans of lemonade concentrate, and 6 bunches of fresh mint in a large clean ice chest with a 20 pound bag of ice.  Then, stir, stir, stir.  And of course, taste, taste, taste.

It's best to start this the night before, so that some of the ice melts into the drink and the flavors marry perfectly.  Oh, and be careful!  The gin taste is conspicuously absent, so it's easy to forget you are drinking pure blackout juice.